A Quick Glimpse Through the Rearview Mirror—Looking Back at 2013

As I look at the calendar and notice it’s already January 24 (you would laugh if you knew how many times I have changed this date).  I realize I am behind the curve and a little late for this reflection, but better late than never… A quick peek back at the year I see a flash of sadness, happiness, laughter, and lessons learned.

The year started off with heartbreak when I lost my dear friend Julie to her lifelong battle with muscular dystrophy.  Her time in this world was too short.  As I sit here and read through all of the posts on her Facebook page with tears rolling down my face I appreciate she will always be a part of us.  She left us all with so many beautiful memories.  Her beautiful smile, contagious laugh, quirky sense of humor and zest for life will eternally be etched in my heart, our hearts. 

June brought more heartbreak when the sudden loss of Jackie Price Dunn shattered my Junior League family.  Jackie was another angel taken away from us way too soon.  While I didn’t know her well I mourned her passing with friends and family who did.  Her legacy is forever imprinted in the community. Her spirit continues on in our hearts and memories and the six lives she saved through the donation of seven of her organs.

Mercifully 2013 also brought a lot of happiness, laughter and friendship. There were so many cherished moments with family and friends, old and new.  We lost our beloved Aunt Joe in the spring and celebrated three weddings in my extended family.  I was delighted I was able to attend Josh and Megan’s wedding in Morro Bay.  My nephew Aaron graduated high school, another event I was happy I didn’t miss. I finally met my nephew Richard, his beautiful wife LaTisha and sweet adorable children James, Junior and Elizabeth.  Of course, I can’t forget, the new addition of Hannah Danielle to my beagle family.  She is a naughty red, but also the sweetest most loving beagle ever.  She stole Emily’s heart that’s for sure (my friend Chris’s three year old daughter). 

The year was filled with the continued tradition of 6 at 6 (meeting at 6:00 am on the weekend to walk 6 miles followed by breakfast) with Jen.  I treasure the memories of those many miles, countless stories (you’d be surprised…or maybe not of what happens in PB/Mission Beach at 6 am) and discussions.  We were sad to see The Eggery close, but World Famous became our new favorite post-walk breakfast place.  We also survived another Disneyland ½ marathon.

Speaking of miles, last year I got 3 more marathons and 3 half-marathons under my belt, not to mention all of the 5ks with Chris, Doug, Emily and the beagles. These short miles have become such an important tradition.  Last year Emily not only started walking part of the way with us, she actually made us run a bit.  Chris perfected her craft and crocheted us the most adorable turkey hats.  Charliebear (my little old man) made it through all of the races.  Of course, we’ve already started planning our races for 2014. 

Robin and Madlyn came to visit me in San Diego.  It was so much fun being a tourist in my own city.  We also had a short getaway vacation in Tucson…more sightseeing and laughter.   Even when we weren’t together we shared our lives daily through our Facebook chats and discussions. 

I went to so many concerts with Jen, Lori, Perla and Dennis I can’t begin to count them all.  Jen and I went to as many Steve Poltz concerts as we were able to attend, we found ourselves front and center at the annual Zac Brown concert, and were ecstatic Cowboy Mouth finally made it back to San Diego.   Lori and I went to almost every Eve Selis concert in San Diego,  Berkley Hart, Blame Sally, too many bands to name at the Adams Avenue Street Fair, Bob Wade,  Lisa Sanders and I introduced her to Peter Bolland, Tim Flannery, Steve Poltz and Shawn Rohlf.  I also spent a greater part of the fall listening to Chris Lea with anyone who would go with me.  

So many new friends entered my life.  What a true blessing it was to have connected with Shaila and her son Mack when I did.  They were like a ray of sunshine in my life.  Cherished memories of hanging out with the two of them, getting ice cream, discussing life with Shaila and learning so much about life through Mack’s innocent viewpoint. 

I celebrated my 3^rd year at CrossFit East County.  There were a lot of changes during the year.  So many new faces and friends we outgrew our gym.  I finally learned double unders, I was very slow, but at least I was able to RX a few workouts.  I achieved new PRs (personal records), but still did not master pull-ups.  I was very close and then something happened and I digressed and became more dependent on the band (my security blanket). 

I can’t forget the myriad of the life lessons!  I learned more about plumbing than I ever thought was possible with all of the Habitat for Humanity projects, my do-it-yourself bathroom remodel and the garbage disposal replacement project I did with my Dad.  There was always something to learn when it came to curriculum.  Ahhhh I will not forget all of those wonderful lessons concerning matters of the heart. It’s no surprise I started 2014 single (in a good positive way).   As Kelly Cutrone wrote “sometimes the hardest lessons to learn are the ones your soul needs most.”  I wish I could say I have learned every lesson I in this area, but I ‘m sure there are more.  Let’s just hope I am wiser and I have learned most of the most difficult ones. 

Finally, what a refreshing feeling to look back through the rearview and realizing ED is so many miles away. Another year free from his wrath I feel comfortable saying there is no chance he is catching up to me anytime soon.  My struggles crossing the Rubicon and my journey to the other side of the mountain http://perfectlyimperfectinsandiego.blogspot.com/2013/09/crossing-rubiconmy-journey-to-other.html are such a distant memories. 

Of course, I’d be lying if I said he has completely vanished. ED’s ghost still remains.  I am sure it will always be there and it will always try to haunt me.  The only difference is I am stronger now.  I am prepared for the fight. This is a game of chicken I refuse to lose.  I’ve come too far and have learned too much.  I survived another holiday season, the time of year when some of the triggers that sent me down ED’s path always strike me head on.  Sure avoiding the stresses of the holiday season was a challenge. Kindheartedly I have learned to deal with them by making my own rules and traditions.  Ignoring all of the New Years weight loss ads and diet fads proved to be a little more challenging. Especially as I recognize I have gained a few pounds myself. Eek…some of my pants and dresses are getting a little tighter.  When I think about what losing those few pounds would cost me physically and emotionally, I resolve it’s time for a new kind of purging.  Time to clean my closets; those pants and dresses need to find a new home. 

I guess that pretty much sums up my year.  Goodbye 2013 it is time for one more trip around the sun. 

Shelly's Rosemary Lavender Mocha

Things you will need:

 

¼ to ½ cup Almond milk (or milk of your choice)

1 tsp of your favorite hot cocoa

I pinch of organic lavender

1 sprig (about 1 tsp of fresh rosemary)

1 cup of your favorite coffee brewed

I extra large coffee mug

1 strainer

Capresso or frothing machine of your choice

Directions:

Brew your favorite coffee

While your coffee is brewing add ¼ to ½ cup of Almond milk to the capresso carafe, rosemary (I take the leaves off of the stem), lavender, and cocoa. 

 

Select frothing setting (cold, warm or hot)

Pour brewed coffee into your mug

Cover mug with strainer and pour in rosemary lavender mocha.  Stir and sweeten to desired taste.

Thirteen in 2013

Who says 13 is unlucky? This year I finished my 13^th full marathon and 13^th half marathon.  That equals a total of 510.9 race miles, or 524 race miles if you count the half marathon I ran for someone else.  [I know, that is a big no no in the race world, but I didn’t place and we didn’t use my time to help her qualify for anything.] 

This number may seem insignificant to some because it took me a few years to get here. Heck , I always hear about people who have ran more than 100 marathons throughout their lifetime and I just met a guy who ran 26 half marathons in 2013.  I commend him for his dedication and devotion to running, but have no desire to top his record anytime soon.  My only hope is that this is something I will still be able to do when I’m 80.

So you’re probably wondering, how does the girl who isn’t really athletic and who really doesn’t like running start running marathons and half marathons?  Well initially I started training as a marathon walker.  [I have to clarify, I wasn’t a race-walker, I didn’t have that technique down, I just held a fast steady walking pace.]  I had watched a friend train for the Rock-n-Roll Marathon one year and was fascinated by the whole process. I really envied the training piece.  The social part of the Saturday morning routes with friends sounded like a lot of fun.  Of course, I was completely enamored once I watched him run the race. 

A month after I watched my friend cross the finish line after 26.2 miles I learned USA Fit (now referred to as In Motion) had a training program designed specifically for walkers. They taught us everything we needed to know about being a marathoner.  All of the proper training techniques like building up our mileage in preparation for race day, hydrating, picking out the right shoes and socks, nutrition, techniques to make it through the mental blocks if we hit the wall and most importantly they taught me the most effective race strategy of finding my happy steady pace.

 

 I really enjoyed those few months training for my first marathon.  I sweet-talked Jen, Melissa and eventually Angela into joining me.  While I was the only one who ended up walking Carlsbad that year, it started the Saturday morning of walks in PB followed by coffee and breakfast. It also started the annual Disneyland Half Marathon tradition with Jen. 

Oh how I digress, I didn’t finish writing about walking marathons.  Back in the day some marathons were very supportive of the walkers. Carlsbad and Long Beach even had early start times for the walkers.  It was really nice we would start an hour earlier than the runners and were able to watch the elite runners pass us up.  Sadly, after several complaints they stopped allowing walkers to start early. Carlsbad went so far to shorten the total time to finish to discourage walkers.  It was really too bad, a majority of the walkers weren’t an issue.  We followed proper etiquette and tried to stay out of the way of the elite runners. There were a few groups who formed packs and blocked the way of the runners.  They ruined it for all of us.  I continue to run Long Beach, but other than one half marathon I ran with friends, I have boycotted Carlsbad since they changed their policy.  Even though I could finish within their new timeframe, I have not gotten over my disappointment over the race organizers squeezing out the walkers. I will forever be indebted to Carlsbad for providing me with the opportunity to start my race journey.  I will always be grateful to Carlsbad because I met my one of my dearest friends Claudine during the 2008 race, but I will never forgive them for becoming so elitist. 

Interestingly although running is still not one of my favorite activities I have started running during the races.  Technically speaking it’s probably more of a slow jog. I attribute this change and my most recent PRs to my CrossFit workouts.  CrossFit is another story for a different time, but I will say since I have discovered it I have been able to decrease my training time logging miles before a race and increase my pace strength and endurance.  It’s also provided me with more free time which has helped me maintain more balance.  

As I sit here and reflect on the 524 race miles I wish I had documented more throughout the years. There are definitely more memories than I could possibly write down now.  I will say I never would have made it through those miles without the race organizers, volunteers, spectators, friends, family, and fellow runners support along the way. 

Marathons:

Carlsbad 2006

Long Beach 2008

Carlsbad 2008

San Diego Rock –n-Roll 2009

Long Beach 2009

Long Beach 2010

Big Sur 2011

Surf City 2012

OC 2012

Long Beach 2012

Surf City 2013

OC 2013

Long Beach 2013

½ Marathons

America’s Finest City 2006
Disneyland 2007 (technically I ran it for someone else so it doesn’t really count)

City of Angels 2007

Surf City 2008

Disneyland 2008

Disneyland 2009

Disneyland 2010

Rock-n-Roll 2010

Carlsbad 2011

Disneyland 2011

Disneyland 2012

San Diego Women’s ½ 2013

Disneyland 2013

San Diego Holiday ½ 2013

Remembering Gillian (Pronounced Jillian)

Gillian and Charlie's Christmas

December is such a nostalgic time of year.  Fond memories of Christmas as a child, the celebration of the birth of Jesus, Midnight Mass, listening to all of my favorite holiday music, festivities, twinkling lights, candles, trees all decorated, presents wrapped and topped with bows, freshly baked cookies, chestnuts roasting on an open fire, and gestures of good will.  While I embrace the spirit of the season, I can’t help but remember losing Gillian two years ago. 

If you have followed my blog you’re familiar with my sentiments about being a mom. There certainly was a period when it was a role I had always dreamed I would play, but time and circumstances just weren’t on my side.  Of course, I’m not sad about it now.  As much as I wanted to be a mother, I knew the conditions had to be right.  Although women do it everyday, sometimes out of choice other times out of the cards life deals them, I didn’t want to intentionally go down that journey solo and on my own.  So instead of having children I chose to be a beagle Mom.  A role that unquestionably has had its own trial and tribulations. 

Gillian was my first beagle as an adult.  I named her after Gillian Anderson from the X Files and Gillian, the character played by Nicole Kidman, in Practical Magic.  She acquired several nicknames throughout her life…Baby Girl, Jillybean, Jilly, Beanie, Beanie Girl, Jills, Jillsie, and Monster hound were just a few. 

I remember the day I went and picked her out. She was 7 weeks old, the only red and white girl of the litter.  She was spunky and had a little red dot on her head.  A dot I would later refer to as the mark of the devil.  In my mind I had envisioned a cute little puppy that would be like the daughter I didn’t have.  Sweet and quiet she would sleep in a little box at night, play throughout the day with her toys and potty outside on command whenever I wanted her to. 

Looking all innocent after peeing on Mommy's bed

I'm not as sweet and innocent as I look

Clearly I did not do my research and read the dos and don’ts guide to picking out a puppy.  Taking her away from her mom before she was 8 weeks old was my first mistake.  Not to mention raising a beagle puppy in San Diego is much different than raising one in the backwoods of Missouri.  Of course if you know anything about beagles, especially red beagles, you know Gillian was the exact opposite of everything I had imagined she would be.  It’s not surprising she spent every day for the next 12 years of her life dispelling the fantasy I had built up in my mind.  She cried the whole way home in the car and the girl could howl, she ate through the box I had intended for her to sleep in and any other contraption I tried to keep her in, she always peed in her own bed and inevitably anytime she was mad at me she peed on my bed. 

Gillian played with her toys, but she never really understood the line between what was hers and mine.  She thought everything was meant for her. She ate my bed when she was 6 months old. Literally, I came home and my mattress was in a million pieces.  When I went to replace it I noticed she had been eating her way up through the bottom of it.  It’s a wonder I didn’t fall through.  The first few years of her life I was teaching sociology at the local community colleges. She really resented the time I spent on my laptop preparing for my classes and the time I spent on the couch grading papers. Whenever given an opportunity she chewed through my laptop power cords.  One day I noticed a spark and Gillian darting away.  It must have scared her as much as it did me because she never touched another cord.  On more than one occasion she also ate my student’s homework.  She loved the papers that were nicely bound in little plastic binders.  Imagine my horror having to tell my students “I am sorry, my beagle ate your paper.” 

Gillian was so smart. She figured out how to open doors and cupboards.  I had to install locks on the sliding glass doors in my bedroom because she would open them and eat my shoes.  Of course she never chewed two of the same pair, she’d always chew one shoe from each pair.  She could also jump like a jackrabbit.  She would tilt her head in such a way that she was able to grab things off the countertops or a dresser; that’s how she was able eat one of my invisalign trays and my retainer.

Gillian sucking on her baby bird

She was like Dr. Jeckyll and Hyde. On the one had she was super sweet.  She’s the only dog I’ve had that would actually come up and hug my neck.  It was so cute how she tried to wrap her paws around me trying to get closer.  At night she would burrow under the covers and sleep in the small space between my knees.  She also had this little blue baby bird she absolutely loved.  Every time I saw one at Wal-mart I bought it for her. Anytime she got anxious or excited she would hold it between her paws and suck on it.  Each one had a small indention in the same place on its head from where she’d spend hours sucking on it.

As sweet and loveable as she was, Gillian had a violent mean streak. That’s where she got her nickname monster hound.  It’s hard to describe, but she at certain times she would just go psycho and become really vicious.   A trait that is not unheard of in beagles, but also very rare.  Her nasty side usually appeared when she was scared or trying to protect something she had in her mouth that she shouldn’t have and didn’t want to give up.  When she was 3 years old she bit my lip off, another story for a different time. I’ll just say after 25 stitches for reattachment and reconstructive surgery it’s almost back to normal.

Mommy, I was a bad girl! I'm sorry, I bit the groomer

Fortunately, there weren’t any other serious incidents after that one, but I always warned the vet or anyone that had to deal with her for any reason they needed to muzzle her and take precaution because she had a red dot on her medical chart and was capable of biting. They usually listened and always thanked me for letting them know.  The only exception was the groomer at Petsmart. I told her at least 5 times she needed to muzzle Gillian, but she didn’t listen and sure enough Gillian bit her hand.  It was their fault for not following directions, but they still banned her and charged me a $5 fee. 

Gillian was very smart. She had the memory of an elephant.  She never forgot anything or anyone. She loved my niece and nephew and was always very excited to see them when they came to visit.  Unfortunately, if she learned something she never forgot it, like opening doors and cupboards.  A few lessons were positive. Like the time when she was 7 months old and she tripped me when I was making macaroni and cheese.  She learned her lesson the hard way when a little bit of hot water splashed on her.  She never entered the kitchen again when I was boiling pasta. 

Gillian like any other beagle was motivated by food.  I’m sure that’s how she learned to open cupboard and doors.  I’ll never forget the first time (definitely not the only time) she opened the cupboard and got into her dog food. She ate every bite her tummy could hold.  I found her happy as could be, fat as a pig lying next to the empty bag. Although it seems incongruous because she could inhale a bagel in one swift gulp, but she could also be somewhat dainty.  One year she got into the Halloween candy with her sister Emily (we lost her in a break up…another story for later).  Anyway, Gillian neatly opened the Hershey bars and only ate the chocolates, while Emily just chewed through the wrappers. Whenever I gave her artichokes she would just eat the bottom part of the leaf. 

Charlie and Gillian

In a lot of ways I admired and envied Gillian.  She was a true free spirit, resilient and persistent.  She always gave it the good fight and never gave up if she wanted something.  She was stubborn and hard headed.  I remember when I received the tragic news that she had congestive heart failure. The vet told me she would only live 1-to-3 months.  She was strong, she gave it her best fight up until the day she was laid to rest nearly 5 ½ months later.  I always wonder how much longer she would have continued to fight if I would have let her……

RIP in peace sweet Gillian! We love you and miss you everyday!