Angels and Eagles

The handsome man from Boulder called me as I was driving home from CrossFit on Monday night. He admitted his regret for not keeping me all day on Sunday.  I wistfully agreed.  Thinking we had an eternity to make up for it, he burst my blissful bubble when he told me he was heading home the next evening after his workshop ended.  It couldn’t be!  There was so much more to say, so much more to learn. 

Fast thinking I quickly offered to pick him up for dinner and drop him off at the airport in time for his flight.  Astonished but happy, he graciously agreed.  We talked on the phone during my whole drive home.  A conversation of playful banter mixed in with his excitement about all he was learning. 

As agreed I picked him up from his hotel promptly at 5:30 the next evening.  He was looking handsome as ever in his designer jeans and casual shirt. Honestly, I can’t remember what color his shirt was. I just remember watching him put his red suitcase in my trunk and noticing how brightly his smile shined  especially since he  had freshly shaved. 

Since our time was limited I had narrowed dinner options to Little Italy or Point Loma.  He opted for Little Italy.  Parking was crazy as always especially for me because I can’t parallel park.  I opted for an open space in a yellow commercial zone.  Hmmm 5:40, 6:00…what’s the difference?  Close enough right? 

We had a quaint dinner at a little Italian restaurant.  It was stuffed avocado salad for him and strawberry fields salad for me.  We probably could have skipped dinner, the poor waiter had to come back five times before we were actually ready to order because we were so deep in conversation we didn’t even look at the menu.  I was intrigued by his zest for life.  He was very intelligent, with a lot of integrity, confidence and poise.  I could have talked to him all night, but planes do not wait. 

We walked back to my car.  He noticed it first that I had a ticket.  Yes, the dreaded yellow envelope was secured on my windshield!  Darn it, I should have opted for a public lot.  I knew I was playing Russian roulette when I parked there.  Actually more like the firing squad, my car was the perfect target for an easy ticket during the witching hour.  He grabbed the ticket and insisted on paying it.  I couldn’t get it away from him before he shoved it down his pocket. Had I been feeling a little more daring I would have went for it , but my shyness took over. 

The drive to the airport went way too quickly. There we were, time to let him go.  I had secretly been wondering all day would we kiss?  I must have put too much pressure on myself thinking about it.  A long lingering hug and then I was watching him walk away. One quick glance back with a big grin on his face as I was thinking to myself how darn cute he was. 

That was it!  Just like I had heard so many times listening to Eve Selis sing, the handsome man from Boulder was getting ready to fly away.

Like an angel, like an eagle

I know I have to let you fly

Where the world is just a small thing

When you see it from so high

May you breathe in all the freedom

You'll find dancing in the air

If I could give you anything at all

I'd give you everywhere

Like an angel, like an eagle

Poof just as quickly as it all began he would be gone.  No kisses in my memory, but cherished images of great conversation and that last long hug.

There are no coincidences. There’s always a reason for everything that happens in our lives.  I am not completely sure why the Handsome Man from Boulder crossed my path. Was he the distraction I needed to let go of GC once and for all?  Or perhaps a lesson for me to learn that while I had professed to completely giving up on love, there is a place in my heart that does not really want to let go of the dream I’ve so yearned for.   It would not be him, distance and time were against us.   I still have so many more things I need to learn about loving myself before I can create that bond with a man.  Perhaps meeting him was the glimpse of hope I needed to show me there will be love in my future even if it is someday on the distant horizon.