Rainbows and Smiles...I Choose Happiness

People who know me usually describe me as a woman with class and grace.  I am definitely far from being perfect and every woman has an inner beeotch that sometimes cannot be tamed.  Nonetheless, a majority of the time I take the obstacles that come across my path in stride. 

Yesterday, God was definitely testing my threshold.  I had just turned the corner of the month break up with Mr. Greek Chicken only to run into him at a function with the new slinky blond I had heard so much whispering about from friends.  The real stab of the knife in the heart was not the validation of what I already knew in the pit of my female instinctive gut, but seeing them together with his family, his children and his parents.  The people who had so welcomed me into their world not just a handful of weeks ago.  To top it off, the humiliation that I was yesterday’s news, such an insignificant piece of his world, was witnessed by so many of our friends, my friends.

It was a surefire moment of fight or flight.  I had options, I could have left the event, but that wouldn’t have been fair to me, I was there to support the athletes from my gym.  I could have caused a scene, but lets face it I am not really good at theatrics. My only other option was to put my traits of class and grace into high gear.  I discretely wiped my tears away, put on my best smile and held my head high. [Thank goodness I didn’t pull a roll out of bed style attempt.  I actually put some effort into getting ready that morning.  Hair down, a little bit of make up on, my lucky rings, adorable seaside necklace the beagles gave me for my birthday that year, cute little white tank top, flirty Daisy Dukes shorts, and just the right size heel]. 

I’m not going to lie it was a difficult day for me. Looking back now even though it’s not my forte some theatrics mixed with some eye plucking would have been a lot easier.  Thank goodness for my friends.  There is no way I would have made it through the inevitable talking with the family, the fake hug I gave Mr. GC, and all of the other awkwardness without the support of my friends.  Which leads me to the next part of my story…

Anaïs Nin wrote “you are in charge of how you react to the people and events in your life.  You can either give negativity power over your life or you can choose happiness instead.  Take control and choose to focus on what is important in your life.  Those who cannot live fully often become destroyers of life.” 

These words of wisdom are so empowering. Especially when you’re in the state of deficit I was in yesterday.  Instead of focusing on the perceived loss of what was missing in my life, I took pause to reflect and embrace the joys, the gifts, the blessings I have.  Friendship (family) is the greatest gift of all.  I am so fortunate to have a fabulous friendship network of people who really care.  I know no matter what happens in this world there are people I can turn to, people I can count on.  We laugh together, cry together, celebrate victories and mourn losses. 

I also cherish my inner strength and independence.  This isn’t something I’ve always had. As a little girl I was afraid of the world, afraid of my own shadow, afraid of imperfection. Through being single and self-reliant I have taken on so many challenges.  Whether it’s a new plumbing issue, supporting myself and my 3 beagles, DIY projects, speaking in front of a crowd or exploring unchartered territory I am ready to take it on even if it means confronting my fears.  

I am blessed with a full life.  There’s never a dull moment, I am never bored, there’s always something to do.  A movie to watch, a picture to paint, a blog to write, a concert to listen to, a marathon to run, a crossfit WOD to complete, a new personal record to achieve, a beagle to hug, a friend to call, or a social event to attend. Life is  such beautiful learning experience. 

I am privileged to have my dream job.  I still remember as a young graduate student after a guest speaker I told my mentor “I want to be a dean of curriculum.”  I’m not going to lie, it’s not a job without challenges.  There are days when I want to beat my head against the wall.  For the most part, I love the challenges and opportunities.  I have the luxury of working with the most amazing group of professionals.    We have an awesome team that pulls together and does whatever it takes to get the job finished.

I am happy that I am able to share all of my blessings with others--friends, family and even strangers.  Volunteering my time is such an integral part of my life.  I always try to leave things the way I find them or just a little better.  I try to give back as much as I can.  Whether it's helping dig a trench for the Habitat for Humanity, helping judge the Fittest Fireman Competition, putting on a race for the Wounded Warrior Project or feeding the homeless on Christmas morning, it's my way of giving a helping hand and giving back to the world.  

This is just the tip of the iceberg, there are so many other facets of my life that I am grateful for.   I am sure I will write about them in the near future.  These are the ones that helped me see the rainbow, put a smile back on my face and conquer the most recent obstacle that crossed my path with poise, class and grace.